So here are a few updates.
I went to The Eras Tour in Chicago Night One. It was one of the best experiences I’ve had this far at a concert. 3 Hours went by so quickly, and every section was just executed perfectly. I recorded full videos of surprise songs: I Wish You Would, and The Lakes. I didn’t realize The Lakes was an option [lol].
Although this weekend she also played, “I don’t want to live forever,” “The Moment I knew,” “You All Over Me,” and “Hits Different.” It felt like a handful of very similar narrative sad songs and for that I just hope she is okay. Though rumored her and Healy broke up, I also think, and know, that coming out of a long term relationship, that grief does finally catch up with you, even if you try to stay busy. So I just hope she is okay, because dang, those are some hard hitters.
Before I go into this new song I wanted to share some images and videos I took during the concert!
Ok moving on to the new song. I thought I was done with Midnights, but I am not, lol.
I am going to link some parallels. I don’t necessarily think all of the songs I am going to mention are about Joe, per say, however there are some crossovers. I also don’t think that every song on midnights is about her most recent relationship, however, I was confused at first about Dear Reader in October when it was released. Why was she walking home to an empty house? Why was she locked in her home – where she paces her pen – and alone? If she had Joe?
You’re Losing Me kinda answers that question…? Anyone who has been in a long term relationship that feels more toleration than passion knows that you can feel it die with time, but you don’t want to give up. However, this song made me relation that Bejeweled, and Tolerate it may have been much closer to her than I thought they were. I thought perhaps they were more about the past or other people or books she had read, but I feel that she perhaps felt this in a bit of her own life, too. So with the release of the new late night edition, You’re losing me, should be before Dear Reader.
Lyrical Breakdown
First of all, she uses her own heartbeat… the same as Wildest Dreams. Her dreams are ending. Her pulse is fading.
You say, “I don’t understand” and I say, “I know you don’t”
Right off the bat this song hurts me. There are so many parallels in this song that link up to other songs or just are so… understandable from a break up perspective. Whether it’s mutual or not – a misunderstanding .. miss communication … a feeling that can’t be shared but only described as the reason a flame when to ashes.
But one thing after another
Fuckin’ situations, circumstances, Miscommunications
-Midnight Rain
We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won’t
When you are in a long term relationship – you spend so much time building everything up that it is so hard to walk away quickly. No matter the lack of love or feeling you have for the current relationship, you hope everything resolves itself.
Remember lookin’ at this room, we loved it ’cause of the light
Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time
This part actually hurts me. This makes me think of Reputation a lot… like the album as a whole. The apartment, even, on Cornelia Street [although wrong timing for this album] – but these moments that involved her and this other person – in secret, loving the small things between them. Private moments, rooms that hold memories, that eventually aren’t lit in the same way – either physically [the room] or emotionally [quieter nights].
Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?
This is such a real question. Over years you build things with people in a relationship. Memories, homes, lifestyles, traditions. Even if you grow apart, people often choose these things over leaving a relationship. We sometimes cherish memories and past feelings and can’t find the reason to let go – even if we don’t feel love from the other person any more.
He built a fire just to keep me warm
-Call it what you want
I also see more of Call it What You Want Vs Tolerate it within this song
All my flowers grew back as thorns
Windows boarded up after the storm
He built a fire just to keep me warm
– Call It What You Want
Where’s that man who’d throw blankets over my barbed wire?
-Tolerate It
I’m getting tired even for a phoenix
phoenix is an interesting word here. There are two definitions:
1. a person or thing regarded as uniquely remarkable in some respect.
however I think she means this one, 2. If you describe someone or something as a phoenix, you mean that they return again after seeming to disappear or be destroyed.
Because of her next line
Always risin’ from the ashes
Mendin’ all her gashes
You might just have dealt the final blow
she frequently ‘rises from the ashes’ – but something was done that has left her nothing but ashes.
Is this the end of all the endings?
My broken bones are mending
With all these nights we’re spending
-King of My Heart
We gather here, we line up, weepin’ in a sunlit room
And if I’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes, too
-My Tears Riccochet
But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time
Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time
-Look What You Made Me Do
You drew stars around my scars, now I’m bleeding
-Cardigan
Stop, you’re losing me
Stop, you’re losing me
Stop, you’re losing me
I can’t find a pulse
My heart won’t start anymore for you
‘Cause you’re losing me
“check the pulse and come back swearing it’s the same”
-All Too Well
Although Lavender Haze was supposed to show her ‘Melancholia’ I also think it has an aspect of this reference within the song – from her Music Video
Every mornin’ I glared at you with storms in my eyes
Which could refer to this line. Storms in my eyes- either the desperation to be seen, or the dreariness that follows her.
How can you say that you love someone you can’t tell is dyin’?
She does refer to death a lot in All Too Well – as well
Till we were dead and gone and buried
Lifeless Frame
I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick
The anxiety bitches know this line well.
My face was gray, but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick
While you were out building other worlds, where was I?
Where’s that man who’d throw blankets over my barbed wire?
I made you my temple, my mural, my sky
Now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life
-Tolerate It
And the air is thick with loss and indecision
I know my pain is such an imposition
Now, you’re running down the hallway
I see three comparisons of hallway here – the first is Maroon
You were standin’ hollow-eyed in the hallway
Carnations you had thought were roses, that’s us
The second is the anti hero music video. -which this thread shows
The Third is the Very First Night
chased me down through the hallway
Except this time it’s not a playful chase.. it’s something happening separately and not together.
also… YOU WERE STANDING HALLOWED EYED IN THE HALLWAY??? NOW HE’S RUNNING DOWN THE HALLWAY?? ouch.
And you know what they all say
“You don’t know what you got until it’s gone”
This song and I think he knows are definitely also a connection –
I think he knows
He better lock it down
Or I won’t stick around
‘Cause good ones never wait
Stop, you’re losing me
Stop, you’re losing me
Stop, you’re losing me
I can’t find a pulse
My heart won’t start anymore for you
‘Cause you’re losing me
‘Cause you’re losing me
Stop (Stop) ’cause you’re losing me
My heart won’t start anymore (Stop ’cause you’re losing me)
My heart won’t start anymore (Stop ’cause you’re losing me)
How long could we be a sad song
‘Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?
Still a connection to the Great War – battled and bruised
I gave you all my best me’s, my endless empathy
would it be enough, if I could never give you peace.
And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier
Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don’t you ignore me
This is a direct link to “The Great War” – and that hurts me a lot.
Soldier down on that icy ground
Looked up at me with honor and truth
Broken and blue, so I called off the troops
That was the night I nearly lost you
I really thought I lost you
I’m the best thing at this party (You’re losing me)
I saw someone compare this to mirrorball – but i think honestly that is more of a connection between fans and her. I see more of the party almost a connection to You’re On Your Own, Kid… as well as All Too Well, as she references crying in a bathroom
And I wouldn’t marry me either
A pathological people pleaser
so.. this definitely was said to her in a fight and she’s bringing it out again – which also I feel made it’s way into anti-hero as well.
But she has mentioned marriage so much within her work – Peace being a big song that is apart of this as well. Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother.
Paper Rings – I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings.
Lavender Haze – All they keep asking me, is if I am gonna be your bride
This kind of puts it into perspective that she did want to get married- but she just didn’t want the pressure.
Who only wanted you to see her
I’d pay if you’d just know me
Seemed like the right thing at the time
-High Infidelity
And I’m fading, thinkin’
“Do something, babe, say something” (Say something)
Ok so for this.. I think of many things.
- Don’t put me in the basement
When I want the penthouse of your heart
This line from Bejeweled … makes me think it was about her situation – same with begging for footnotes in the story of your life. They are the same narrative – but different genres and almost attitudes to present this narrative. - Do something, Say something – is like begging this person to react. Any way they can. Sometimes when you are in a fight you just want ANY emotion you can get. This flashback-ed me to Lavender Haze.
- Staying at the ceiling with you – you don’t ever say to much.
This one hurts to think about – because the thing she most admired about this person – ended up being the thing she probably resented.
- Staying at the ceiling with you – you don’t ever say to much.
“Lose something, babe, risk something” (You’re losing me)
“Choose something, babe, I got nothing” (I got nothing)
“To believe, unless you’re choosing me”
UNESS YOU’RE CHOOSING ME YOU’RE LOSING ME ARE YOU KIDDING.
You’re losing me
Stop (Stop, stop), you’re losing me
Stop (Stop, stop), you’re losing me
I can’t find a pulse, my heart won’t start anymore
This. has the same repetitiveness as all too well, as the haunting ending. Something that holds her captive for awhile – something that will take forever to get over.
Image Representation
My hand was the one you reached for
All throughout the Great War