First off Its my 33rd birthday today!! I’ve been processing my own active grief with my grandparents- so I have made a body of work – that is continuing beyond what is posted. You can view that entirely separate work here. But I can’t help but think this may be my last birthday with one set of my grandparents. It’s been a hard thing to go through but art definitely helps me focus on the little things I cherish – step by step.
So although this polaroid I took represents the last birthday I’ll probably have with them – it also represents time. Taylor is one year older than me – and aging is incredibly hard for most of us – but its so lovely to have someone you look up to be one year older than you – reminding you that it’s not the end of the world. Just as she was going through some shit [we now know] on her 33rd birthday, so am I! Haha. But we make it through, we persist.
Onto the Music
Something to note in this song – is just HOW much it sounds like The 1975. This album has many mimics of the backtracks that they use. This song – is definitely evident.
For most of this album breakdown I won’t bring up Matty, but this song is so much about him that it’s hard not to. However, I think this song is more relatable to us individually than we think.
I discuss some similarities overall in this album sonically in my initial post – here
but I will focus this blog more so on this song itself.
You left your typewriter at my apartment
Straight from the tortured poets department
I think some things I never say
Like, “Who uses typewriters anyway?”
But you’re in self-sabotage mode
Throwing spikes down on the road
But I’ve seen this episode and still loved the show
Who else decodes you?
I adore this line: ‘throwing spikes down on the road, but Ive seen this episode and still loved the show,’ as this idea of knowing the person you are in love with is a mess, but loving them anyways. I see these lines as they are throwing metaphoric spikes on their own road, making problems for them to move forward, but she knows this is just something they do. She knows she can decode them, so although it’s creating chaos for them, she knows how to read the situation and their state of mind while working through this moment of weakness on their part.
I think many people can relate to this idea of being in love with someone who is sometimes bad for themselves. You think about how much you tolerate from them because you love them – you want something better for them – but it can be difficult. A moth to the flame.
And who’s gonna hold you like me?
And who’s gonna know you, if not me?
I laughed in your face and said
“You’re not Dylan Thomas, I’m not Patti Smith
This ain’t the Chelsea Hotel, we’re modern idiots”
And who’s gonna hold you like me?
Who is Dylan Thomas?
Thomas is a famous writer and poet from Wales. Born in 1914, Thomas was known for writing about his troubled life. Some of his famous works include, “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night” and “And Death Shall Have No Dominion”
Smith is a known American singer-songwriter who was famous in the punk rock scene thanks to her debut 1975 album, “Horses.” Born in 1946 and still active today, she was known for fusing poetry and rock & roll, according to Entertainment Weekly. One of her famous songs, “Because the Night,” was co-written with Bruce Springsteen. And Patti Smith lived at the Chelsea Hotel.
The Chelsea hotel was originally a housing cooperative but then became an apartment hotel in 1905. Throughout the years, the Chelsea housed famous writers, poets and artists, including Thomas, Smith, Dylan, Mark Twain, Andy Warhol, Jackson Pollock, Janis Joplin and Sid Vicious.
In fittingly poetic form, Smith posted:
“This is
saying I was
moved to be
mentioned in
the company
of the great
Welsh poet
Dylan Thomas.
Thank you Taylor.”
So basically Taylor is saying, we aren’t two well known elegant poets, we’re just two idiots making irrational / quick decisions. If you sabotage this relationship.. who is going to understand you, love you, and decode you like I DO?
Nobody
No-fucking-body
Nobody
No one is going to put up with your shit, but me.
You smoked, then ate seven bars of chocolate
We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist
On Sunday, April 28, Puth, 32, reposted the singer’s post about her “overwhelmed” reaction to the success of her new album, The Tortured Poets Department, on which she mentions Puth.
The fact that Taylor drops so many artists in this song, indirectly and directly – create the group of Tortured Poets.
This line just feels like marijuana. Just hanging out, eating too much, talking about things you love together. It really shows the comfortability of the relationship.
However I did see a theory about ‘ate 7 bars of chocolate’ as it [ripped] or strummed [ate it up] seven bars, as in musical bars, of chocolate, a 1975 song, and I’m thinking that is such a fun duality.
With the next line of a tattooed golden retriever falling asleep in the comfort of her presence. This is the verse I will bring up Matty because she references his friend Lucy in the bridge. He has tattoos so that’s the reason for that insert… as well as if it is referencing the song Chocolate… well welll well, that it must be him.
I scratch your head, you fall asleep
Like a tattooed golden retriever
But you awaken with dread
Pounding nails in your head
But I’ve read this one where you come undone
I chose this cyclone with you
cyclone: a system of winds rotating inward to an area of low atmospheric pressure, with a counterclockwise (northern hemisphere) or clockwise (southern hemisphere) circulation; a depression.
Honestly with all of the drug references in this album, the awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head could be metaphoric, but I really think it’s discussing a hangover. Since she references a storm system, a depression, its like the chaos he creates for himself makes him unravel, but guess who will stay there through it all? She will, if she’s allowed to, if they choose her.
And who’s gonna hold you like me?
(Who’s gonna hold you? Who’s gonna hold you?)
And who’s gonna know you like me?
(Who’s gonna know you?)
I laughed in your face and said
“You’re not Dylan Thomas, I’m not Patti Smith
This ain’t the Chelsea Hotel, we’re modern idiots”
And who’s gonna hold you like me?
(Who’s gonna hold you? Who’s gonna hold you?)
No-fucking-body
(Who’s gonna hold you? Who’s gonna hold you?)
Nobody
(Who’s gonna hold you? Gonna know you? Gonna troll you?)
Nobody
With the no-fucking-body, I actually see this as a bit frustrated? Like, NO fucking BODY is gonna put up with this shit, but me. I promise I can be there through it all with you.
I love the adding of Gonna Troll You??
It makes me think about this whirlwind of “You know who you are, I love you” trolling chaos they did to us, and to each other at their tours.
Sometimes, I wonder if you’re gonna screw this up with me
But you told Lucy you’d kill yourself if I ever leave
And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen
Everyone we know understands why it’s meant to be
‘Cause we’re crazy
“Sometimes I wonder if you’re gonna screw this up with me / You told Lucy you’d kill yourself if I ever leave and I had said the same to Jack about you, so I felt seen,” Swift sang, seemingly referencing her longtime collaborator Jack Antonoff and someone named Lucy.
Fans were quick to point out Swift’s friendship with Dacus, 28, who is a member of Boygenius alongside Phoebe Bridgers and Julien Baker. The group recently reunited with Swift at the 2024 Grammys when they posed for photos together in the trophy room. Bridgers, 29, was also one of the opening acts for the first leg of the Eras Tour.
Also, the idea of her casually dropping that he mentioned suicide if they didn’t last, is actually a very serious and heavy line.
Other people can see why they work because they are both ‘nuts’… but to the fans and the people that don’t actually know them personally, they are lost with this relationship decision or ‘chemistry’. Again, a very relatable thing to any of us – our friends may not agree with our choices of partner, but they will support and love us through it. They can see the chemistry – even if they know it may not be for the best.
So tell me, who else is gonna know me?
At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger
And put it on the one people put wedding rings on
And that’s the closest I’ve come to my heart exploding
This is actually a very sweet line but I was surprised to see it on this song. For her whole life, this was the one that was serious about her? Her fortnight? Making big moves with intended jokes or actions?
Who’s gonna hold you? (Who?)
Me
Who’s gonna know you? (Who?)
Me
And you’re not Dylan Thomas, I’m not Patti Smith
This ain’t the Chelsea Hotel, we’re two idiots
Who’s gonna hold you?
This repeat of Dylan Thomas and Patti Smith also feels like this – talking someone down from thinking they are the ‘best,’ and bringing attention that you are only human, you’re going to make mistakes. But also almost bringing their ego down? [In a good way] making them touch grass.
Who’s gonna hold you?
Who’s gonna hold you?
Who’s gonna hold you?
Who’s gonna hold you?
Who’s gonna hold you?
Who’s gonna hold you?
Who’s gonna hold you?
Gonna know you? Gonna troll you?
You left your typewriter at my apartment
Straight from the tortured poets department
Who else decodes you?
At the beginning of the song she wonders who uses typewriters any ways? But the end of the song she mentions it again – meaning she decoded why he uses it. It came from him, the person she understands, but no one else ever will.
Art Representation
I had a hard time thinking about what to do for this – because the obvious thing is a typewriter. But really this song is about being with someone who is a bit hard to handle, who self sabotages good things, but in the end it’s probably for the better? We have all been with people who drag us down when they drag themselves down.
In times “I love you’s,” there are echos of “I don’t think any one else could handle this.”
There are moments of happiness, growth, but also chaos and pain. A constant reminder to them that they aren’t perfect, they aren’t a god or idol [famous poet], and life is messy.
But who is gonna hold you if I don‘t? Nofuckingbody.
Without me there is ashes and nothing
Only a message in a bottle